Windows Phone 7? Fail

Why does 'Sweaty Steve' even bother? Microsoft is a terminally sick brand and yet they repeatedly try to move into other people's territory (search? social networking? music?coolness? PLEEEEASE!)

Now they're at it again, having another go at mobile. Windows mobile was a disaster and Windows Phone 7 will be equally successful. (ie. NOT).

Until they accept that they're just a broken 20th Century software company, they're going to keep on making fools of themselves. ENOUGH GUYS! After all, even the dinosaurs finally laid down peacefully....

iPhone 4 launch glitch

Steve Jobs's presentation secrets:

Prepare, Prepare, Prepare. And Rehearse (etc).

OK so the wi-fi let Steve down. Get over it. I thought he handled it brilliantly. Calm, slightly amused, carried on. It happens to us all. He's a man of the people.

Needless to add, the minute the curtain came down he went back-stage and beat seven shades of s**t out of his team of trusted aides. That's called being the boss! (p.s. nice phone)

iPad queues to extend right round the block (of course)

Of course Apple will make sure there are people waiting up all night on the streets of LA, SF, New York and Chicago to pay out hard-earned cash for their latest toy. Even if Steve Jobs needs to bribe his family to stand in line, this launch will have every appearance of success. But will those first 'lucky' iPad buyers be as enthusiastic once they've unwrapped and had a play with their new toys? The lower spec models are cheap but underpowered (literally toys!) The top of the range models are expensive and still inferior to a laptop (without flash or a Camera).

For fanboys and girls only I suggest. There is no market in this niche.

What do you think?

Apple have done it again

You have to admire Steve Jobs and his cool techie cohorts. Only Apple could convince us we need something between an iPhone and a MacBook Air. I thought technology was meant to simplify our lives? So now we will have another device to carry around. Doesn't have Flash, less powerful than a laptop and I still don't want to read books on a computer.

Still; for under $500...pretty cool, isn't it?

Call of Duty 4.2. What's the problem?

OK now the whingers have started bleating. Apparently the new game glorifies terrorism, encourages people to start fragging civilians at Gatwick and basically turns us all into the Basingstoke Chapter of friggin' Al Qaeda.

I don’t think so.

It's "the best game this year". (BBC). Probably the best game any year. I loved Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. And this is BETTER. Just because you play it doesn’t mean you’re going to freak out and take the carving knife to the cat. OR the next door neighbour. IT’S A GAME? (GEDDIT???)

SO:

Shut up and let me enjoy my few minutes of fun shooting the baddies up.

OR I MAY GET VIOLENT!!!

So Microsoft have lost their way?

Sure those freaks at Apple and Google are moaning that Ballmer's boys and gals have lost the plot but people should just remember who invented DOS and the PC and the walking talking paperclip and wordprocessing and spreadsheets and cool presentation software and stuff.Apple's only got 9% of the US computer market and now Bing's walking all over Google so the others are scared.Where would literally millions of businesses around the world be today if Bill Gates hadn't invented Windows and Office? How quickly people forget! PLUS Bill and his wife have given $billions to charity. The man is a saint. I'm personally hosting a Windows 7 party. Good luck MS; your success is our success!

Steve Jobs's Health

So Steve is back. Thinner but apparently OK post liver transplant, and working at Apple HQ again.

What's the biggie here? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t wish the guy any harm. In fact I love the iPhone and the iPod; what great ideas and cool design! He’s done good.

But the point is he's only one guy and Apple is a big firm. Jobs, Steve Wosniak and Ronald Wayne founded it in 1976.They’ve had long enough now to get a second line management in place. Even if he’s feeling fine now, maybe it's time for Steve to take a back seat, enjoy his money, look after his new liver and let the new guys take a bit of the limelight. Sure I know the analysts will panic and say Apple is doomed without him and the share price will plunge but NOBODY IS IMMORTAL. Look at what the evil nerds from MS have done; much as I hate them, they have successfully invented Sweaty Steve Ballmer as a new figurehead. Apple need to do the same. Maybe it’s Phil Schiller. I don't know. But they should save their new 200GB 3G Bluetooth touch screen wifi iPodPhone for the new guy (or gal)’s first announcement. Keep Steve a seat in the front row.

Apple: that idea’s for free. Contact me for more.